


The Wiggly, Jiggly, Rainbow Toned Tentacle of Glory

by SLWalker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Extremely light dom/sub themes, F/M, Healthy Relationships, Humor, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Poor Obi-Wan, Sex Negotiation, Sex Toys, The sex is all off screen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-01-04 14:40:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12170910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SLWalker/pseuds/SLWalker
Summary: Who knew where Breha got it.  Apparently, she hassources.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shadowmaat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowmaat/gifts), [Capiapoa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capiapoa/gifts).



> I take only partial blame for this. Capiapoa deserves a chunk of it for drawing some extremely wild tentacle porn with Maul. Shadowmaat deserves some of it for existing as my best fiend. It's not terribly explicit, but I made at least one person laugh very hard. It may or may not eventually be 'canon' for [Game of Thrones: Alderaan](https://archiveofourown.org/series/798396), but for now, it at least definitely takes place in some form of that universe.

“I think it would break me.”

Breha waved the– thing, which had enough give to– to _jiggle_. She was grinning while she did it, which was the only reason why her brandishing that– that _object_ was even under the most tenuous consideration. “Oh, I highly doubt that.”

Not for the first (or hundredth) time, Maul was very grateful that he had not inherited the human ability to blush. Besides, Bail was blushing enough for the both of them.

“That’s– pretty daunting,” Bail said, red all the way to his ears. “Where did you even get it?”

“I have my sources,” Bre said, turning it to admire its worryingly long, rainbow hued length in all of its dubious glory.

Maul supposed his own gameness was probably _why_ this all happened the way that it did; he was willing to try almost anything at least once, so long as it didn’t involve being degraded or hurt. But really, they all three shared a fairly standard – if open to experimentation – sex life and so Breha obtaining some terrifyingly large sex toy that didn’t know if it was a tentacle or a phallus was definitely noteworthy. There _was_ a collection of toys (and in all fairness, Maul had a good working knowledge of all of them), but while one or two presented a challenge, this one–

“It’s not going to bite you,” she said, which was right about when Maul realized that he _had_ been watching it like it was some manner of predatory lifeform that might just attack. Then, she grinned broadly again, jiggling it in the air at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to make friends?”

Of the three of them, he and Bre were definitely of the more adventurous ilk; Bail was by no means stodgy, but he had fairly straight-forward likes and dislikes, and while he could deploy his self-control and patience like a finely honed weapon – and did whenever it suited him, he could spend _hours_ satisfying Bre, and hours _dissatisfying_ Maul until Maul was writing his desperation in red lines on Bail’s skin with scrambling fingernails while fairly incoherently begging – he didn’t tend to come up with ideas like this.

Which was why he was still red. All the way down his neck. He put his hands up, ducking his head with a half-sheepish grin when Maul looked to him for an ally. “You’re on your own this time, love.”

Maul narrowed eyes back at him, though there wasn’t so much as a hint of any real annoyance there. “I’ll remember this, next time she has your face stuffed into a pillow and you’re pleading with me to get you off.”

Bail didn’t become any less red at that – and no matter how much time passed, Maul found that so achingly endearing – but he did laugh. “Fair enough.”

Maul turned back to Breha, where she was sitting on the bed with her black hair loose, crosslegged, her robe slipping off of a shoulder as she grinned at them; even while she was holding _that thing_ , she cut such a beautiful picture that he actually had to take a moment to remember to speak. Though, when he did, it was quite firm. “That thing is an abomination, Dove. I most certainly don’t intend to make its acquaintance.”

“Oh, Blackbird.” She set it off bouncing back and forth like an obscene metronome, raising her eyebrows. “We’ll see about that.”

Maul probably would have had better luck sounding like he meant it if he’d been able to keep himself from laughing after she did that.

 

 

 

 

And that was when the thing began showing up _everywhere_.

At first, it almost seemed accidental.

There was probably a sensible, legitimate reason for him to open his underwear drawer and find the thing there, though that didn’t stop Maul from taking a large step backwards, eyes wide, genuinely startled. It lay gleaming in his neatly folded small clothes, the bright sunlight through the window bringing out its iridescent, rainbow-esque colors in its otherwise blue, almost jelly-like translucency.

Really, if it weren’t for the fact that it was _ten centimeters wide_ at its widest, it would almost be aesthetically pleasing.

_Almost._

He used a small Force push to close that drawer. Apparently, today he was going to be going without underwear.

 

 

The next place it appeared was the ‘fresher.

Again, there could be a sensible, legitimate reason. Maul was starting to acknowledge that there wasn’t, but he was willing to grant some small suspension of disbelief to it. Breha had made no mention of the thing again, and if she was laughing about it, then she was doing a very fine job of not letting him catch her in the act.

Every single time Maul saw it, he was again struck by the _size_. He found out that brushing his teeth in the thing’s presence was almost awkward for how imposing it was.

If it had eyes, he suspected it would be staring at him.

He didn’t touch it; just left it there and resolved to not react to it in any way, lest he give his queen more entertainment than she might possibly (denial aside, _probably_ ) be getting already.

He honestly didn’t think to warn Bail, though, so when Bail went into the ‘fresher and then the startled _“Kriff!”_ came through the door, followed by a thump, it took him a few seconds to put it together.

Maul tried hard to feel badly for laughing about it, but didn’t quite manage to.

 

 

Pulling back the covers to slip into his side of the bed, he realized that no. No, this was _definitely_ all intentional. He narrowed his eyes at Breha’s sleeping form, sprawled half on Bail, and then sighed, dropped the covers and retreated to go sleep in the spare room.

Bre must have felt a little bad about that, even if Maul hadn’t intended to make her feel that way, because he woke up with her snuggled up to him in that bed, stroking his back and peppering kisses on his face the next morning, and he didn’t see the abomination for the rest of the day.

But it _did_ come back. And it somehow managed to get _worse_.

 

 

“Is that–?” Bail asked, cocking his head to the side, mouth half-open in his incredulity.

The abomination was sitting propped against couch cushions with a pair of blue mirrored sunshades on its– head, and a note taped to the front that said, _Let me love you._

“Yes, it is,” Maul answered, folding his arms across his chest and working his jaw, thanking whatever mercy there was in the universe for the thousandth time this week alone that he had not inherited the ability to blush.

Bail laughed for ten minutes straight, until he was literally sitting on the floor, arms bracing his ribs, face red and wet with tears.

 

 

Next time, it brought roses.

 

 

 

 

Every single time Maul thought Breha had reached the end of her creative ways of presenting the abomination, she managed to surprise him.

No mean feat, that.

He found it reclined in a doll sized robe (and who knew where she got that!), posed in a chair by the fireplace, with a glass of wine on the table. (Maul’s favorite vintage, no less.) He found it in the ‘fresher sink, set up like a bath, with floating rose petals and all. He found it wearing a _miniature ski cap_ with a holo advert for a ski chalet sitting next to it. (Maul actually liked skiing, which made that even more damning.)

Could a giant tentacle/phallus sex toy pose seductively? It seemed it could.

Finally– Maul had enough and decided to call for their hands to be shown.

He grabbed the entirely too-large thing and walked in, holding it up and waving it at his queen, who happened to be sitting working with tea. “I hope you know what you’re doing, because if we have to call a doctor…”

The way she ended up choking on her tea was particularly gratifying. At least, it was once Maul was sure that he hadn’t just accidentally killed Alderaan’s monarch by brandishing a large sex toy at her.

When she had her coughing under control, cheeks flushed, her mouth opened and closed a few times before she managed to say, “I didn’t honestly think you’d ever _agree_ to it!”

Maul stared back at her, his own mouth hanging open.

It was about the perfect time for Bail to walk in, which meant that he _did_ walk in, and then stopped just inside the door with an eyebrow climbing and climbing. “–I missed some important piece of sex negotiation, didn’t I? Do I still get to watch?” When both his wife and lover swung a look at him, he held up his hands. “It’s a fair question!”

They gaped a few moments more, then Bre looked back at Maul again, eying him up and down. He crossed his arms, the abomination jiggling in a very undignified manner against his upper arm – which he was not going to compare sizes with! – and eyed her right back.

The fact of the matter was that Maul knew full well that anything he said no to would be respected instantly, without question. Which was probably why he rarely actually did so. Beyond that, they both knew him quite well and there really was no limit on the amount of trust he had in them. He didn’t think for a moment that Breha would do anything that would put him in any kind of genuine danger, the kind that would damage that trust.

They stared at one another, in that manner where they were both testing each other’s resolve, seeing if one of them would back down from the challenge.

Then Bre picked up her datapad again, raising one elegant eyebrow. “Go wait in the bedroom while I finish going through these communiques.”

Half-smirking – to her, to himself – Maul just bowed and did so.

But not before tossing that abomination to Bail, listening to him grunt as he caught it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so one more bit, after the-- uh-- heh. <3

“I think you actually did break him,” Bail said, picking up one of Maul’s arms by the wrist, just to illustrate.  It was a little like handling a leaden rag-doll, albeit a lovely looking one.

Breha snorted, hair in disarray, as she walked out of the ‘fresher in nothing but a sheer robe, which was hanging open and showing off her trim form, clinging to her damp skin in some places.  A very enticing view, Bail had to admit, even if he was so wrung out that he doubted he’d be able to even get it up for at  _least_  a few more hours.

He stretched his shoulders to feel the sharp sting of the scratches left across his skin, then set Maul’s arm back down.  Maul, for his part, was so far gone that being handled didn’t even change the slow, soft pattern of his breathing.  In a boneless sprawl of red and black, he looked very sweet in his post-coital slumber; on nearly anyone else, that would be deceptive, but Maul had the ability to be genuinely sweet even when he was clawing like a wildcat and leaving the shapes of crescent moons in Bail’s skin.

A sort of purity, anyway.  The only lovers he knew were Bail and Bre; there had been no one else, which meant there had been no one to shame him or put him off his enthusiasm, and that was its own kind of beautiful.

“Like  _you’ve_  never left him in such a state,” Bre answered, amused.  Though she also failed utterly to keep the self-satisfied smirk off of her mouth as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I definitely have, but I can’t say  _tentacles_  were involved.”

That set Breha off laughing, her hard belly-laugh, and Bail couldn’t help but laugh with her.  She braced around her ribs, long hair sliding over her shoulder, and then wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm when she finally wound down to giggles.  “I really did just buy it as a joke.”  A beat, where she bit her lip, and then she said, “Though, he did look very pretty taking it.”

“I was too busy getting some new body art to get a good look.”

Bre eyed his shoulders and her self-satisfaction grew. “And you look very pretty with those, too, dear-heart.  Temporary as they are.”

“It’s all right, I’m sure I’ll have more before too long.”  Still, Bail rolled a shoulder just to show them off, just to see the predatory gleam light up in her dark eyes.  Both Maul and Bre liked to claw at Bail, and Bail frankly liked walking around feeling those marks under his shirt during the day.

“I’m sure,” she echoed, then held up the washcloth. “For now, though, give me a hand?”

It didn’t take terribly long to clean Maul up – who didn’t so much as hitch a breath – and then Bail took the second washcloth to wipe himself down.  And before long, they were under the warm covers.  It was one of the rare times Bail could wrap himself around Maul’s back and hold him like that; he could feel the faintest brush of horns against the underside of his chin and against his neck, and knew he had an hour or so before they’d have to change positions, lest he end up with a very distinctive bruise pattern.

Still, for now, he enjoyed it, and even more when Breha crawled in on the other side, one arm under her pillow as she regarded them both.  Her expression softened to something tender, something made of the trials they had faced and the struggles they had undergone, and the way they kept finding their way back to this kind of ridiculous happiness, where laughter came more easily than heartache.

She kissed them both, and then snuggled in, and Bail drifted off with the words  _I love you_  still echoing in his ears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--blame Shadowmaat for this tiny, unexpected addition to the Malibu Cthulhu legend.

It looked like a disembodied tentacle, including the suction cups. Clearly it hadn’t come from any living being, so Obi-Wan couldn’t quite understand what its purpose was. The length of his forearm, it was very pretty to look at; translucent blue with an iridescent, rainbow sheen, and it made him laugh a little when it jiggled in his hand, but no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn’t figure out what it was _for_.

He had found it while waiting in the royal suite’s sitting room; eventually, he had managed to figure out that while Maul had his own quarters, they were largely just a place for him to collect rocks, plants and occasionally nap. He lived with Bail and Breha otherwise and once Obi-Wan realized that, he went there to talk to the zabrak, usually about upcoming lessons.

The disembodied tentacle had been sitting on an end table amidst a live floral arrangement. Curious, Obi-Wan had picked it up to inspect it.

He heard Maul come out of the bedchambers and turned with it in hand, offering a smile and a greeting.

Maul’s reaction, however, was very different. His eyes went very wide, and his mouth fell open; his gaze flitted between the object in Obi-Wan’s hands and then Obi-Wan’s face, which was now falling into bemusement.

Maul didn’t explain, though; he just made a sort of choking noise in the back of his throat, promptly turned around and went back into the bedroom.

Obi-Wan was starting to suspect something when he heard Breha cracking up a storm behind that door, startled peals of laughter floating out to reach him.


End file.
